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Perspective

I had an interesting conversation recently with Mr. Perfect-for-me. I asked him if he thought that we argued often. I’m not sure why this question popped into my head or why I let it slip out of my mouth, but once it was out, there was no taking it back. The specific details of the conversation don’t matter. However, I learned just how different our ideas were about what an “argument” looks like. It made me wonder about how others define “argument” and how they feel about arguing.

When you Google “argument,” the definition you receive seems straightforward. However, differing life experiences can alter each person’s perspective of the same interaction. This results in us having very differing views on whether the interaction was a positive or negative one. I wonder how often this happens to other people. Not just in romantic relationships, but also in families, friendships, workplace relationships, and even when we are interacting with strangers.

It is incredibly interesting to me how our varied life experiences have shaped our perspectives in a way that makes even the simplest words seem so very different. Mr. Perfect-for-me and I have had several instances where the words that one of us chose to use, had a different meaning to the other. For example, it took a bit for us to get to the bottom of it, but we realized we had these 2 perspectives about arguing:

  • We argue regularly. That is not a bad thing because it is productive.
  • We don’t argue. We discuss things respectfully.

Ultimately, they mean the same thing: It is rare that we have an extended verbal disagreement that’s unproductive. And that is a very good thing. We both genuinely want to understand each other’s perspective. We respect each other enough to really listen. We discuss our differing opinions without trying to convince the other to “switch sides.” We aren’t afraid to call each other on things we believe are incorrect. Sometimes we even pull out our phones to check facts.


I am so blessed to have a partner who supports me emotionally, challenges me intellectually, and makes me laugh until my belly hurts. I know I am posting this a few days early but...

~Happy Fourth Monthiversary to My Love~

 

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