Skip to main content

Letting Go of Hope: A Gift Only I Can Give Myself

The thing about hope, is that it keeps us moving forward. The problem with hope, is that it can also keep us stuck in a pattern of bad choices. We hope things will change. We hope things will get better. We hope and we are disappointed. We hope and we are disappointed. We hope and we are disappointed.

The key is to hold onto the hope that compels us forward and let go of the hope that keeps us stuck. I am not sure how to do this yet but this article gives instructions for how to do it. Tonight, I am working on the first part: Write out a list of what you wish was different. Then one by one, repeat, "(S)he will never..."


He will never make me a priority in his life.

He will never make time for me.

He will never take me into consideration when making decisions.

He will never introduce me to his friends.

He will never put any effort into our relationship.

He will never want more than just my body.

He will never care how much he hurts me.

He will never love me the way that I love him.

He will never really know how it feels to be loved completely.


The second part is to repeat this list over and over again to yourself until you believe it. As I typed up this list, intellectually I know it is all true. But I also know that my heart still hopes its not. So, I am going to have to read through this often. It is going to take me time to believe it. And when I finally start to believe it, then it will be time to move on to the next steps.

I just hope that I can let go of hope.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Attraction

Attraction is a complicated thing for me. Normally, I meet someone and as I get to know them, I find them more and more attractive. Because of this, I have dated all over the looks spectrum. Tall, short, big, small, dark, light, male, female, younger, older, etc. Maybe a handful of times, i have looked at someone that is so physically attractive to me, that I find myself staring.  More often than not, I date men. The reason for this is partially because of where I live. Another reason is that I find confidence very attractive and there is nothing more intimidating to me than a confident a woman.  The other night I was out at karaoke with friends. I saw a woman out of the corner of my eye. I immediately turned my head in her direction to see what exactly caught my eye. I can't even begin to tell you what was being talked about at our table at that moment because all I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears. I spent the rest of the evening trying not to stare. I tried to pa...

The Here and Now

The last few weeks have been a real eye opener about something that really challenges me: living in the here and now. I worry about the past repeating itself. I hope for an amazing future. But I cannot seem to just live today and be happy for what it is now. Most people who know me, think that I am either realistic or pessimistic. I don't think anyone has ever accused me of being overly optimistic. Since meeting Mr. Perfect-for-Me, that has changed. I began to imagine my world getting brighter because I had figured out how to love again. I began to feel less alone and more accepted by someone than I ever have before. Then, I began to imagine what our future might hold. That wasn't my first mistake and it most certainly won't be my last. If nothing else, there is one constant in my life; I make a lot of mistakes. Feeling this way and thinking this way, gave me the unrealistic expectation that maybe I had found someone I could spend a lifetime with. I forgot to consider wheth...

Perspective

I had an interesting conversation recently with Mr. Perfect-for-me. I asked him if he thought that we argued often. I’m not sure why this question popped into my head or why I let it slip out of my mouth, but once it was out, there was no taking it back. The specific details of the conversation don’t matter. However, I learned just how different our ideas were about what an “argument” looks like. It made me wonder about how others define “argument” and how they feel about arguing. When you Google “argument,” the definition you receive seems straightforward. However, differing life experiences can alter each person’s perspective of the same interaction. This results in us having very differing views on whether the interaction was a positive or negative one. I wonder how often this happens to other people. Not just in romantic relationships, but also in families, friendships, workplace relationships, and even when we are interacting with strangers. It is incredibly interesting to me ...